Stupid things you do when you are sleep-deprived.


This blog is titled: Stupid Things you’ve done because you are sleep deprived. And if this is a competition, I think I win.

Because this week, at 2am, I bought a Thermomix. By accident.

I had forgotten. A baby’s cry that pulls you only halfway out of the deepest sleep you have had in weeks is both a tender, pathetic mewling and a STUPID SHUT UP OH MY GOD I’M LEAVING okay I can’t even finish that sentence because I cannot SPEAK ENGLAND ANYMORE I am so tired.

I just woke up on my keyboard with the letter Y now imprinted on my forehead.

The bags under my eyes, which everyone pretends not to notice, have now bled into my lower cheeks.

Recently, my rip off, still super-expensive ThermoChef (see what they did there, with the name…so clever), broke for the third time, and is now out of warranty. This is like the end of the world to a mother who has had no sleep and is on GAPS.

There should be rules about mothers in my state, who are burnt out, and who dream of owning a Thermomix, being allowed to login to eBay after 8pm, because they MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY BID THE WRONG PRICE ON AN ITEM AND then the next day, they might get an email saying: “Congratulations! You are the winning bidder!”

And then this mother will pull a face, like, “Bidder? Did I bid on something?”

And then they will open the email, and in slow motion, the image of a brand new Thermomix appears and jolts their memories and then that voice in your head, you know the one, it’s really slow and sounds like a whale: “Noooooooooooooooooooooo……”

THAT voice.

Yup. I THINK that this is going to be funny in a few weeks’ time, once I have resold the item on eBay and can finally admit to hubby what happened (He doesn’t read my blog. I hope.)

Anyway, the last few weeks have been tough, a baby that was sleeping through the night got a cold, then her sinuses got blocked up for a few weeks, and then she got a middle ear infection. For the last 6 weeks we have been back to 5 days old kinda waking and feeding, along with 24 hours a day of that whingeing noise whenever you even THINK about putting her down. I have had a few days of terror where the lack of sleep or space felt an AWFUL lot like the black dog of postnatal depression. Thank God Almighty, I have a support system around me, I got some shut eye, got some perspective, and did the things I know to do, that could influence this outcome.

  • I got some exercise, and some sunshine on my face.

  • I got some regular sleep.

  • I got some help with my business (thanks Mom).

  • I got some prayer (thanks Sarah).

  • I got more regular with my daily broth, fat, juiced veggies, egg yolks, organ meats and fish oils.

  • And I talked to my beautiful cousin who gives good advice like a slap in the face. She rights the ship with with three word soundbites: Control vs Influence. That’s a WHOLE nother blog… (thanks Suzie).

So to all those mamas out there who are tired, the kind of tired where you won’t remember ever reading this post, I am with you.

And hopefully my story about how I accidentally bought a Thermomix will make you chuckle.

XXXX Mary

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